WORDS

simple words, made up by alphabets.

aimed to express one's feelings towards another.

however these words, can be so lethal.

it causes pain. physically but more importantly mentally,

which would last for a long time.

am i, really that imperfect?

am i, perfectly imperfect?

i wonder. i wonder.

some of the times i feel like no one.

useless to the world, open to all the attacks of brutal words which me myself choose to listen.

it really hurts, when u try so hard, yet, u dont get anywhere :(

Ignorance

sometimes ignorance is the best.
it makes you think less.
prevents you form making assumptions.
makes you think that there's some good left inside of you.
however ignorance sometimes makes you grow cocky.
makes you think you're the best.
but sometimes, things said to you are so bad and hurtful,
that ignorance can play no part.
the damage has been done.
even though you want to ignore, and try to,
you just can't seem to think about it,
again and again.
ignorance, a double edged sword


p/s: i have a new blog fyi :)

Self centered bastard

he thinks he's the only one in the world that is important.
he thinks he's always right.
he only cares about himself.
he's mostly a bastard at night.
he really isn't worth it.
and she definitely deserves more.
but whatever he does now,
only cause her heart to sore.
he regrets with all his heart,
he really cannot withstand them apart.
he hopes he can turn back time,
but he knows, he's asking for it all this time.

The worst feeling

is when your closest ones ask whether you are okay,
showing that how caring they are towards you,
yet you disappoint them..

That, made me want to go to the showers.. and hide from the truth..

FML

today.. some part inside of me died.. i dont know whether this would be a turning point..
or would it lead to me failing in life..
i'm seriously disappointed.. in myself.. letting everyone else down..
especially my parents, which came down to see me the day before.. and i even have the courage to quarrel with them.. answer them back, when what i can give in return is this..
i really feel like nothing now.. i really hope i could just disappear right now..
and the big problem is.. im really really disappointed in myself.. never once i have felt this way before..
i think im wasting everyone's time..
im really sorry..
to everyone out there who believed in me so much..
to M & D, even though now is the time i need you the most, i know i would just break down in front of you if you were still near me..
to JJ, thanks for the support and without you, i think i'll be doing something stupid now..
to KK, you believe in me so much and loved me since i was a little baby i dont know what i would do if u appeared in front of me.. im so shameful of myself..
to all my friends, i've let you down.. maybe i should have just stayed at where i was..
and to Gwen, i love you alot, but im really feeling like shit now...

i havent been like this ever since i was leaving all my close friends about 3 years ago..
but trust me, it's so much worse now.. :(

it pains to know you're that bad, but when someone who believed in you asked you whether you're okay after such a disappointing event, it really kills me.

calling myself a nobody is an understatement.. :(

Seriously..

Sometimes im really lost..
I did things that you did..
I lost things that you did..
I said things that you did..
But yet it was me who was always..
Always on the wrong side..
Sometime i dont mind..
Cause i try to make up..
For things that I've done in the past..
But sometimes..
Seriously..
I'm just lost..

Life So Far

well.. im doing fine here.. surviving should be the word..
just scrapped through my exams, and even more tests are coming soon..
promos are in 6 weeks time..
asean dance in 2 weeks time..
trainings are still as exhausting and energy sapping..
and life is well... tiring i guess..
i miss the days, earlier in the year, where i could just sit back and relax, surfing the net, doing my own work, chatting, playing
although im stilled hooked onto facebook now and im still connected to the internet everytime i get back to the hostel, however my time spent on the computer is much lesser now..
i dont blog much, i dont update my status much, hell i dont even chat with ppl on WindowsLive..
life with love grows better every second..
however time is a problem as i have alot of commitments.. i feel really sorry sometimes.. :(
i really hope everything turns out fine..
i hope AseanDance would be a success..
i hope i would do well in my Promos:) everyone else too ^^
i hope i would do better in soccer too.. the A Div!!
i hope i would be a better man ( not boy d :)), better son, better friend and of course, a better Boyf. :)

PS: i dont know why but i like Christian songs. they're catchy and nice <3