Friday, October 22, 2010

The worst feeling

is when your closest ones ask whether you are okay,
showing that how caring they are towards you,
yet you disappoint them..

That, made me want to go to the showers.. and hide from the truth..

FML

today.. some part inside of me died.. i dont know whether this would be a turning point..
or would it lead to me failing in life..
i'm seriously disappointed.. in myself.. letting everyone else down..
especially my parents, which came down to see me the day before.. and i even have the courage to quarrel with them.. answer them back, when what i can give in return is this..
i really feel like nothing now.. i really hope i could just disappear right now..
and the big problem is.. im really really disappointed in myself.. never once i have felt this way before..
i think im wasting everyone's time..
im really sorry..
to everyone out there who believed in me so much..
to M & D, even though now is the time i need you the most, i know i would just break down in front of you if you were still near me..
to JJ, thanks for the support and without you, i think i'll be doing something stupid now..
to KK, you believe in me so much and loved me since i was a little baby i dont know what i would do if u appeared in front of me.. im so shameful of myself..
to all my friends, i've let you down.. maybe i should have just stayed at where i was..
and to Gwen, i love you alot, but im really feeling like shit now...

i havent been like this ever since i was leaving all my close friends about 3 years ago..
but trust me, it's so much worse now.. :(

it pains to know you're that bad, but when someone who believed in you asked you whether you're okay after such a disappointing event, it really kills me.

calling myself a nobody is an understatement.. :(