Am I really worth it?
Am I good enough?
Do I deserve this?
Should I be like that?
Anyone to enlighten me?
Im lost... Really lost...
Sometimes everything just seems to go wrong for you, and you would then find comfort in the one you trust in..
But what if...
That person is not there for you at the moment...
You suffer..
You scream..
You cry..
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Terms : Day 2
I still have time to blog. That shows what state i am in now.. HOPELESS..
well im sat for 3 papers so far, GP and Maths on Day1 and Econs today..
well.. all of the papers were okok... it's not easy yet no difficult.. however all the papers are very subjective, so i'll not judge myself base on how do i think i will fare, i'll just expect the worse and hope for a surprise..
there's no paper for me tomorrow, so yeah.. i can spend some time blogging here..
History is killing me.. Together with Geog it's suicidal.. But me LIKEY.. haha.. dont know why.. beats memorizing bond pair or genomes and mRNA.. although i can memorise them but i dont see the point..
well my weekend is ruined i guess.. it was suppose to be a long weekend as monday will be youth day, which means no school..
but there's gonna be soccer camp in school from saturday till monday.. so yeah.. there goes my weekend..
will be spending it with a bunch of guys doing stuff which will make us sweat and feel exhausted ( sounds wrong, no?? ).. rather than spending time with Gwen ^^
i really dont know how im gonna survive this term.. i heard that training will be increased to 3 times a week.. monday wednesday friday.. with friendlies on saturday..
thats like 4 days a week.. and i still have ASEAN com.. everything... OMFG...
i think i better plan out my life now.. before retreating back to my own world of "studying".. peace ^^ byee
well im sat for 3 papers so far, GP and Maths on Day1 and Econs today..
well.. all of the papers were okok... it's not easy yet no difficult.. however all the papers are very subjective, so i'll not judge myself base on how do i think i will fare, i'll just expect the worse and hope for a surprise..
there's no paper for me tomorrow, so yeah.. i can spend some time blogging here..
History is killing me.. Together with Geog it's suicidal.. But me LIKEY.. haha.. dont know why.. beats memorizing bond pair or genomes and mRNA.. although i can memorise them but i dont see the point..
well my weekend is ruined i guess.. it was suppose to be a long weekend as monday will be youth day, which means no school..
but there's gonna be soccer camp in school from saturday till monday.. so yeah.. there goes my weekend..
will be spending it with a bunch of guys doing stuff which will make us sweat and feel exhausted ( sounds wrong, no?? ).. rather than spending time with Gwen ^^
i really dont know how im gonna survive this term.. i heard that training will be increased to 3 times a week.. monday wednesday friday.. with friendlies on saturday..
thats like 4 days a week.. and i still have ASEAN com.. everything... OMFG...
i think i better plan out my life now.. before retreating back to my own world of "studying".. peace ^^ byee
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Terms Countdown: 2 days
i think im gonna screw terms..
the one-week-back-before-holidays-end-to-study plan didnt quiet turn out to be productive..
alot of distractions.. and i procrastinate too much..
ahh i just hope i survive.. God help me please ^^
well.. the distractions are mainly facebook and the worldcup.. schools should abolish exams to let us watch the world cup..
WTH its an event that takes place once every 4 years.. its a global event too.. so why wont school cancel terms for the sake of us being part of this event.. SCREW it.. lol
well.. i havent touched history.. but the rest.. i think i sort of went thru.. sure die one la.. but i dont wanna die so badly only.. hahaha..
all the best to me..
Momma said dont go out with strangers ^^
the one-week-back-before-holidays-end-to-study plan didnt quiet turn out to be productive..
alot of distractions.. and i procrastinate too much..
ahh i just hope i survive.. God help me please ^^
well.. the distractions are mainly facebook and the worldcup.. schools should abolish exams to let us watch the world cup..
WTH its an event that takes place once every 4 years.. its a global event too.. so why wont school cancel terms for the sake of us being part of this event.. SCREW it.. lol
well.. i havent touched history.. but the rest.. i think i sort of went thru.. sure die one la.. but i dont wanna die so badly only.. hahaha..
all the best to me..
Momma said dont go out with strangers ^^
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
FIFA World Cup
the so-called biggest sporting event has arrived..
the world cup which is hosted every 4 years arrives at South Africa..
south africa is a beautiful country.. my parents went theremany years ago.. and only by looking at the pictures they took i felt that the place was magical..
football fever has taken over the whole world.. at least for 1 month..
the first match between mexico and host south africa was on friday.. i watched it with my relatives.. the football match was later told by many as being exciting, but i guess i didnt really watch it cause i was kinda drunk.. drank a lot and was blurry..
well im disappointed cause England could only managed a draw with USA.. all thanks to Robert Green's blunder..
other than that.. most of the matches were mundane and slow paced.. i think i enjoyed the South Korean match the most.. Park Ji Sung scored!!!
i cant believe it;s 4 more days till my sojourn in M'sia ends.. ><
OMFG my term exams are in 2 weeks time.. im dead.. seriously..
i think i must mug my ass off when im back in singapore.. not to score.. but to SURVIVE.. hahaha
well.. shall continue watching football.. Go Portugal.. Go Ronaldo.!
the world cup which is hosted every 4 years arrives at South Africa..
south africa is a beautiful country.. my parents went theremany years ago.. and only by looking at the pictures they took i felt that the place was magical..
football fever has taken over the whole world.. at least for 1 month..
the first match between mexico and host south africa was on friday.. i watched it with my relatives.. the football match was later told by many as being exciting, but i guess i didnt really watch it cause i was kinda drunk.. drank a lot and was blurry..
well im disappointed cause England could only managed a draw with USA.. all thanks to Robert Green's blunder..
other than that.. most of the matches were mundane and slow paced.. i think i enjoyed the South Korean match the most.. Park Ji Sung scored!!!
i cant believe it;s 4 more days till my sojourn in M'sia ends.. ><
OMFG my term exams are in 2 weeks time.. im dead.. seriously..
i think i must mug my ass off when im back in singapore.. not to score.. but to SURVIVE.. hahaha
well.. shall continue watching football.. Go Portugal.. Go Ronaldo.!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Guys Are Not Always Wrong
yeah this is something random i wanna bring up since im kinda bored..
well.. my good friend recently went through a break up.. he told us on that day itself and we got drunk together and slept over at my place that night..
who is not important.. but why and how is the thing im gonna comment about..
well.. long story short.. break ups usually happens because of misunderstandings..
jealousy is usually the suspect, but sometimes, people just grow far apart..
and guys are always viewed as the culprits.. even if it's the girl who called for the break-up.. the finger pointing always ends up with the boy because he was the root of everything..
well actually.. i think men show when they're jealous, but women are more jealous but they just keep it to themselves.. and through jealousy, it slowly transform a perfect relationship into a rocky one..
couples must believe in one another, and not be suspicious over small matters..
sacrifice is also very important.. and i think men sacrifice more.. im not being bias or anything, but i think men are susposed to sacrifice more.. we were made to protect women in everyway we can, at least that is what i think..
women are allowed to cry over someone's shoulder, but for men, it's a big no-no..
we men are suppose to show that we're macho and impervios to hurt and pain, both physically and mentally, however it's a wrong mindset..
men are sometimes fragile too.. i admit.. i had my times.. and it wasn't easy..
men are sensitive too ( to those who disagree, 2 middle fingers for you.. oo0oo oo0oo NA~!)
even the smallest thing might cause a slight tinge or singe in the heart, which might grow worse..
and i pity my friend.. the few of us close friends know his situation, and we blame neither the guy nor the girl..
however.. the girl's friends cant stop blabbering about him being wrong and so.. and making it public too..
well.. i guess problems like these are best left to the "victims" to figure out, although sharing it with close friends which would not tell the whole world ( especially the guy/girl who just broke up with their friend ) about how they feel and "shower" him/her with their thoughts..
so.. love is a crazy thing to get involved in..
it can make you feel like you're flying.. and make you smile even though everything is going wrong for you that day.. or make you get out of bed in the morning ( ^^ )..
however it can make u feel like your heart is shatterred into a million-ga-zillion pieces.. make you cry alone in your room.. or just make you feel like slamming your head against the wall..
however.. it is love that will eventually solve everything.. love is everything.. love makes the world go round..
and im glad im in love.. Thank You.
<3 GWEN
well.. my good friend recently went through a break up.. he told us on that day itself and we got drunk together and slept over at my place that night..
who is not important.. but why and how is the thing im gonna comment about..
well.. long story short.. break ups usually happens because of misunderstandings..
jealousy is usually the suspect, but sometimes, people just grow far apart..
and guys are always viewed as the culprits.. even if it's the girl who called for the break-up.. the finger pointing always ends up with the boy because he was the root of everything..
well actually.. i think men show when they're jealous, but women are more jealous but they just keep it to themselves.. and through jealousy, it slowly transform a perfect relationship into a rocky one..
couples must believe in one another, and not be suspicious over small matters..
sacrifice is also very important.. and i think men sacrifice more.. im not being bias or anything, but i think men are susposed to sacrifice more.. we were made to protect women in everyway we can, at least that is what i think..
women are allowed to cry over someone's shoulder, but for men, it's a big no-no..
we men are suppose to show that we're macho and impervios to hurt and pain, both physically and mentally, however it's a wrong mindset..
men are sometimes fragile too.. i admit.. i had my times.. and it wasn't easy..
men are sensitive too ( to those who disagree, 2 middle fingers for you.. oo0oo oo0oo NA~!)
even the smallest thing might cause a slight tinge or singe in the heart, which might grow worse..
and i pity my friend.. the few of us close friends know his situation, and we blame neither the guy nor the girl..
however.. the girl's friends cant stop blabbering about him being wrong and so.. and making it public too..
well.. i guess problems like these are best left to the "victims" to figure out, although sharing it with close friends which would not tell the whole world ( especially the guy/girl who just broke up with their friend ) about how they feel and "shower" him/her with their thoughts..
so.. love is a crazy thing to get involved in..
it can make you feel like you're flying.. and make you smile even though everything is going wrong for you that day.. or make you get out of bed in the morning ( ^^ )..
however it can make u feel like your heart is shatterred into a million-ga-zillion pieces.. make you cry alone in your room.. or just make you feel like slamming your head against the wall..
however.. it is love that will eventually solve everything.. love is everything.. love makes the world go round..
and im glad im in love.. Thank You.
<3 GWEN
Sunday, June 6, 2010
We meet again
met up with my besties at last on friday.. 6 days after coming back home..=.=
went for badminton.. had to rush there.. finished my driving test which i passed easily then went to setia alam for badminton..
i must admit.. badminton is a sport im neither good nor bad at..
i think it's in all malaysian's blood.. cause practically badminton is the 2nd best sport we're good at ( 1st is squash.. go Datuk Nicol David!!)
tasted mamak for the first time in months after badminton.. had loads of fun..
futsal on saturday took its toll on my body..
its aching all over now... maybe cause i still went to gym today..
well.. sis is coming back tomorrow.. im looking forward to it.. dont know why but... haha...
Hope is the last thing you lose in life.. when you're alive, there's always hope
went for badminton.. had to rush there.. finished my driving test which i passed easily then went to setia alam for badminton..
i must admit.. badminton is a sport im neither good nor bad at..
i think it's in all malaysian's blood.. cause practically badminton is the 2nd best sport we're good at ( 1st is squash.. go Datuk Nicol David!!)
tasted mamak for the first time in months after badminton.. had loads of fun..
futsal on saturday took its toll on my body..
its aching all over now... maybe cause i still went to gym today..
well.. sis is coming back tomorrow.. im looking forward to it.. dont know why but... haha...
Hope is the last thing you lose in life.. when you're alive, there's always hope
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Movies that melted my heart
well.. today went by kinda fast..
although i was extremely bored throughout the day.. but it magically passed by kinda fast..
much thanks to movies that i watched today on my laptop..
the first was Hachiko: A Dog Story..
i finished gyming and decided to watch a movie.. and this caught my eye in the list og hundereds of movies i have in my harddrive..
the movie was nice..VERY.. i freaking cried.. and to people who know me well.. I DONT FREAKING CRY OVER A MOVIE..
its just now me.. i always laugh at my mom and sister when they get all teary eyed over some movie or drama..
but now here i am.. tears dripping down.. that was how touching the movie was..
it shows us that dogs, or animals, have feelings too.. and they are extremely loyal..
the world would be a much better place if more people actually act like dogs/animal.. haha.. kinda ironic, no??!!
well i guess i was kinda sad too caused it reminded me of my dog which passed away 1.5 years ago..
he was 10 years old.. and i grew up with him.. he didnt do wonders like wait for me at the railway station like Hachi did in the movie.. but it actually waited for the whole family to come back from our holiday in Taiwan before passing away.. :(
may u rest in peace, dear NIKKI.
the next show was the Blind Side.. it was nice.. it was meaningful..
and its another true story ( Hachiko too! ).. well.. its about this boy who grew up homeless until somebody took care of him.. he was black.. but his foster parents were white.. and he became successful NFL player in the end..
i didnt cry though.. gotta keep my macho man look intact..
oh ya.. i went swimming today.. for the first time in a gazillion years..
i swam blind though.. forgot my goggles.. and i did some tanning too..
gotta tan myself.. the sun wasnt so strong today.. so i think i gotta do it a few more times..
gwen said im like an albino.. and i admit.. kinda ugly with tan lines all over.. haha..
and yeah.. driving lessons today were a waste of time.. i could drive perfectly well already ^^
<3 GWEN
although i was extremely bored throughout the day.. but it magically passed by kinda fast..
much thanks to movies that i watched today on my laptop..
the first was Hachiko: A Dog Story..
i finished gyming and decided to watch a movie.. and this caught my eye in the list og hundereds of movies i have in my harddrive..
the movie was nice..VERY.. i freaking cried.. and to people who know me well.. I DONT FREAKING CRY OVER A MOVIE..
its just now me.. i always laugh at my mom and sister when they get all teary eyed over some movie or drama..
but now here i am.. tears dripping down.. that was how touching the movie was..
it shows us that dogs, or animals, have feelings too.. and they are extremely loyal..
the world would be a much better place if more people actually act like dogs/animal.. haha.. kinda ironic, no??!!
well i guess i was kinda sad too caused it reminded me of my dog which passed away 1.5 years ago..
he was 10 years old.. and i grew up with him.. he didnt do wonders like wait for me at the railway station like Hachi did in the movie.. but it actually waited for the whole family to come back from our holiday in Taiwan before passing away.. :(
may u rest in peace, dear NIKKI.
the next show was the Blind Side.. it was nice.. it was meaningful..
and its another true story ( Hachiko too! ).. well.. its about this boy who grew up homeless until somebody took care of him.. he was black.. but his foster parents were white.. and he became successful NFL player in the end..
i didnt cry though.. gotta keep my macho man look intact..
oh ya.. i went swimming today.. for the first time in a gazillion years..
i swam blind though.. forgot my goggles.. and i did some tanning too..
gotta tan myself.. the sun wasnt so strong today.. so i think i gotta do it a few more times..
gwen said im like an albino.. and i admit.. kinda ugly with tan lines all over.. haha..
and yeah.. driving lessons today were a waste of time.. i could drive perfectly well already ^^
<3 GWEN
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Everyone is special
Well.. I think it's about time i posted something not really related or revolving about what happens around me..
today im here to talk about what i think about different people..
everyone has their own specialties..
be it in singing, dancing, or sports ( which i can do all but not sure about being really good at it )..
everyone is special in their own way..
it's also a way to showcase their talent.. and show their own style and personality..
i think it's very wrong to judge someone on what they do or practice..
being a guy who dance isn't gay or anything.. i was in dance in secondary school and im proud of it..
i learned a lot of things from dance.. and i certainly tasted glory being in it..
performing in front of international judges from all over the world, or in front of a sold out crowd in the Esplanade, or closing the ceremony for the AYG, i enjoyed every single second of it..
so what if people think it's gay for a guy to dance, i think these people are just shallow minded, causing dancing instills responsibilty and the trainings are just as tough..
a real man wouldn't be shy to stand up and show what they really like.. and i can say i like dance. and i think it's not gay at all..
I love singing too.. I know people dont think guys who sing are gay..
but i love it when they stare at me when i sing.. maybe cause they didnt expect someone like me could sing i guess, no??
i remember the day when i was not more than 5 years old..
i would sing hokkien songs on the karaoke machine for my grandmum.. i guess i liked singing from that day on..
i had vocal trainings for a few months... but that's about it..
i dont like vocal trainings i guess.. i just like singing..
i makes me feel good.. singing out my feelings and emotions..
And now.. My cca is soccer..
i know many people think that me changing from dance to soccer is kinda weird..
from performing arts to sports..
many think that guys changing to sports cca in JC is because they wanna get tough and buff..
but thats not the case for me.. i love soccer or football..
it makes me happy.. it makes me energetic when a ball is at my feet..
although i do admit im not the best at it.. but i really really like it..
i know i played basketball from primary till secondary.. and only really picked up soccer when i was 14 or so.. but.. i dont know why i still like soccer more..
maybe its because i watch football and the EPL.. maybe...
but soccer trainings in my school are the toughest... and i wouldn't go into detail about it.. training sessions are top secret! (we wanna win next year and we cant share it with our enemies! haha)
well.. althoug i do admit i wanna get fit.. but i changed my cca from dance to soccer because i really love soccer and would like to try something new..
i was at crossroads earlier in the year where i had to choose from soccer, dance and choir ( i could have joined. got through auditions )..
and im glad i chose to join soccer.. will try my best to make it to the team next year..
and yeah.. gwen's in Photog.. and boy... she's good..
i love being her model... and she edits them till i look even better...
haha.. not bad having a Photog girlfriend.. takes nice photos for u other than loving you.. heee ^^
here are a few shots from her of me.. and im quiet good myself too.. at least my camwhoring skills..
what to say ehh.. im a natural.. haha
OMFG i look good, no??!! ^^
today im here to talk about what i think about different people..
everyone has their own specialties..
be it in singing, dancing, or sports ( which i can do all but not sure about being really good at it )..
everyone is special in their own way..
it's also a way to showcase their talent.. and show their own style and personality..
i think it's very wrong to judge someone on what they do or practice..
being a guy who dance isn't gay or anything.. i was in dance in secondary school and im proud of it..
i learned a lot of things from dance.. and i certainly tasted glory being in it..
performing in front of international judges from all over the world, or in front of a sold out crowd in the Esplanade, or closing the ceremony for the AYG, i enjoyed every single second of it..
so what if people think it's gay for a guy to dance, i think these people are just shallow minded, causing dancing instills responsibilty and the trainings are just as tough..
a real man wouldn't be shy to stand up and show what they really like.. and i can say i like dance. and i think it's not gay at all..
I love singing too.. I know people dont think guys who sing are gay..
but i love it when they stare at me when i sing.. maybe cause they didnt expect someone like me could sing i guess, no??
i remember the day when i was not more than 5 years old..
i would sing hokkien songs on the karaoke machine for my grandmum.. i guess i liked singing from that day on..
i had vocal trainings for a few months... but that's about it..
i dont like vocal trainings i guess.. i just like singing..
i makes me feel good.. singing out my feelings and emotions..
And now.. My cca is soccer..
i know many people think that me changing from dance to soccer is kinda weird..
from performing arts to sports..
many think that guys changing to sports cca in JC is because they wanna get tough and buff..
but thats not the case for me.. i love soccer or football..
it makes me happy.. it makes me energetic when a ball is at my feet..
although i do admit im not the best at it.. but i really really like it..
i know i played basketball from primary till secondary.. and only really picked up soccer when i was 14 or so.. but.. i dont know why i still like soccer more..
maybe its because i watch football and the EPL.. maybe...
but soccer trainings in my school are the toughest... and i wouldn't go into detail about it.. training sessions are top secret! (we wanna win next year and we cant share it with our enemies! haha)
well.. althoug i do admit i wanna get fit.. but i changed my cca from dance to soccer because i really love soccer and would like to try something new..
i was at crossroads earlier in the year where i had to choose from soccer, dance and choir ( i could have joined. got through auditions )..
and im glad i chose to join soccer.. will try my best to make it to the team next year..
and yeah.. gwen's in Photog.. and boy... she's good..
i love being her model... and she edits them till i look even better...
haha.. not bad having a Photog girlfriend.. takes nice photos for u other than loving you.. heee ^^
here are a few shots from her of me.. and im quiet good myself too.. at least my camwhoring skills..
what to say ehh.. im a natural.. haha
OMFG i look good, no??!! ^^
My best so far.. ^^
Well.. holidays are boring as usual.. kinda clockwork..
morning wake up.. breakfast.. gym.. come back.. online.. lunch.. online.. sleep maybe.. dinner.. tv... supper maybe.. online till late at night..
my friends have college.. they have exams soon.. FML.. haha...
gwen's coming down... i hope we can at least meet.. miss her ttm laa.. ^^
nights ^^ ( although i wont sleep so early )
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